Why 29 is the New 21

I love the month of March. I get to celebrate my birthday plus my anniversary with my fiance. We've been dating for five years and are getting married in six months' time. Time indeed does fly when you're having fun.

It's also the time when summer turns to autumn and the Amaryllis belladonna flowers make their appearance. We don't call them March lilies in South Africa for nothing. They're fascinating flowers and I always look forward to seeing it. These "naked ladies" always stand tall and proud, resembling determination and radiant beauty. The Greek legend may have referenced them from a shy, timid nymph, yet they show strength and self-confidence. In a way, it reminds me of me.

So what if I have one year left before I am "over the hill". Spiritually, I don't feel old, except when a child calls me "aunty". I appreciate the respect but excuse my internal cringe... I still watch animation for goodness's sake.

What irritates me though is when people refer to sports stars as old when they get to my age. Why? I may not be flexible as I used to be when I practised rhythmic gymnastics twenty years ago (wow, that is a long time ago, isn't it?) but I still know how to do all the tricks with all the apparatus. Give me a few months of just practising routines every day (full-time) and I'm sure I can be on an acceptable competing level again. With age comes experience.

Even though I'm still figuring things out, there are certain things I have learned in my twenties, especially the last couple of years after my studies. While 21 may be the traditional number of coming of age, here is why I feel 29 is the new 21 as a grownup.

You know (more or less) what you want to do in life

Hopefully, you have already gone through your quarter-life crisis and figured out what your purpose in life is. And it's okay if you haven't figured it out yet. We'll just leave it for the midlife crisis. Just kidding! Don't stress yourself out over this. You don't need a clear idea. Just use the process of elimination. You'll still have many choices and uncertainties, but at least you'll only have to choose between vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream, not 29 more flavours.

But what if I'm stuck with the same flavour of ice cream for the rest of my life?

Who says you can't mix vanilla and chocolate, or vanilla and strawberry? Heck, go for three flavours together if you're crazy enough! That makes life so much more interesting.

You know (more or less) who you are

There was a time where I went through an identity crisis, but that was mostly because I was stuck in a job that I disliked. Needless to say, you are not your job title. You are a person. You have a personality, likes and dislikes, good qualities and bad qualities. You know what drives you forward, and what drives you nuts.

Sure, you can work on your characteristics to become a better person, but you can never delete it from your personality. Sometimes it's circumstances, sometimes it's genetics. If you know what your stressors are, you can identify it promptly (with a little bit of practising) and lessen the effects.

You learn to love your body

Let's face it, the closer you get to your thirties, the slower your metabolism gets. I may not like my body every day, but I am learning to love it. It's not your fault that your genetics trolled you on the length of your toes. The only thing you can do is eat healthily, exercise regularly to work on your muscles and ignore your BMI number. Personal trainers and professional dieticians find this Body Mass Index (more like Bad Measuring Indicator) ridiculous, so why should I care?

There was a time in high school when my stomach was flat and my ribs were showing. And guess what: I was still overweight according to the BMI scale. Do I have to starve to death before being acceptable to those standards? I don't think so.

I used to feel self-conscious about my body until I realised that even "prettier" or skinnier girls have their issues. And besides, I barely had time to feel embarrassed while fitting on wedding dresses. Your body type is not wrong, it's just how you're built.

You know who you can count on

I met some of my best friends at university but still kept in touch with my close friends from school. I would sometimes read on Facebook of people complaining about being let down by their friends and I would think to myself "Wow, they're going through exactly what I went through in high school, but thank goodness I'm done with that period in my life".

Today I know exactly who I can count on. I am also lucky to have found a partner who is not only the love of my life but also my best friend. When I'm happy, I want my best friend, and when I'm sad or angry, I need my best friend. And that is very special to have.

29 is a symbolic number

While the number 21 represents your full transition into adulthood and responsibilities that are linked to it, the number 29 reflects your relationships and dependence with others. Number 2 is a symbol of relationships and companionships, while number 9 is about humanitarianism, idealism and tolerance. Therefore 29 is essentially the goal of maintaining coexistence with yourself and those around you. You cannot find happiness in people or things around you when you are not happy from within yourself.

We recently went to my school's ten year anniversary. It was interesting to see who has grown up and who has grown old. Seriously, I am the oldest one in my class and some girls looked like they were deep in their thirties...

I could have gone with the purpose to show off my fiance, to talk about my awesome new job, to brag about the fact that we own a flat and many other things. But strangely I didn't feel the need to mention any of this, unless when people asked. I didn't need to compare myself to any of my schoolmates, because I am already happy, and I am happy for them.

I still think I have nailed it though.

It's not how you're built, it's what's on the inside, your inner beauty, and whether you're not just surviving, but actually living (in real life, not on social media).

In the words of my favourite March flower: If you've got it, flaunt it!

Dump the Junk - How to Declutter Your Desk

I believe just like a tidy room provides a tidy mind, a tidy desk gives one freedom to work.

Whether you work at an office or at home, one easily spends 40 hours or more at one's workspace per week. Some people go to coffee shops or libraries to change their work environments which aid them to think outside the box, but that is not always possible for everyone. Therefore, it is important to make your personal space as comfortable and personal as you can.

I usually go through an organising frenzy of unpacking, cleaning, throwing out and organising my cupboards and drawers during the holidays. Most people do not understand why I find this activity fun. It makes me feel like I'm organising my life and clearing my mind in portions and stages. And afterwards, you're free to live and use your time as you please.

Yesterday our department moved up a floor in the same building (not exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to move up in the world). This was the ideal time to go through the fluff and the junk of one's office space.

But you don't need to wait for an office move. You can do it annually at the end of the year or use the first day back at the office, or when work is not too hectic.

Follow the STOP procedure when decluttering your desk:

S - Stop and Stare

You know that one drawer where you drop those odd things you're not sure what to do with? Now is a great time to unpack it. Go through every item one by one and ask yourself: Do you use it often? Does it have sentimental value? Can you make digital scans of your notes and documents? If it doesn't serve a purpose or it's broken, throw it out.

Have a bunch of sticky notes with scribbles you can't throw away yet? Stick them all in a notebook and write them down in one place later. Or create a note document on your computer. Whatever you do, make a note of it (not on a sticky note!) or you will have to deal with it again in the next decluttering cycle.

T - Tidy Up

Now for the boring part, the tidying up. Cleaning your desk, drawers and even the floor will make your workspace look as good as new. Or as close to new as it can, at least.

O - Organise!

Hopefully, you've got less junk to put back in the trunk. You can also use this step as a second throw-out phase. When you organise your documents into files, for example, you might find that you have duplicates or outdated notes which you can recycle.

Try to keep similar items together: stationery, paperwork, food (yes, we know about your snack drawer) and personal items.

P - Position

This for me is the fun part. Here you can play around with positioning, how you want your desk to be arranged and decorated. Keep simplicity in mind. Not necessarily minimilistic, but if that's how you roll, then go for it!

Also keep the size of your desk in mind. A lot of stuff on a small desk will give it a disorganised feeling, as if you don't have enough space. Spread it out too much on a big desk and you can't easily reach your phone. Less stuff just means you have less to clean and organise, plus you have more space for your cat to act like a desk ornament.

Clutter is not just physical stuff. It's old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self. - Eleanor Brownn

May you all have a great year! I hope you started it off with a clean slate. I mean desk.

2016 in Review - The Year of Sharpening

Even though there were many positives in 2016, last year was not particularly one of my favourites. In fact, it was one of the hardest years of my life. In order to explain this, I have to go back to September 2015, when I started my new job. You can read my previous blog post for a bit of background information.

Whatever you do, I’ll do it too, show me everything and tell me how

I was thrown into the deep end of the water and told to swim in my new position as administrative assistant at an environmental consultancy. I didn’t mind though, as I thought that this company would be the ideal place to get into the environmental sector, which is what I studied for. I only needed to be an administrator for another year more or less. I was excited when I got the call from the recruitment company barely a few work hours after my interview, to tell me that I got the job.

The thing about interviews, however, is that it can never prepare you for the invisible red flags.

It all means something, and yet nothing to me

It was great to hear and see the familiar terms that I used to read in my university notes. Every time I got the opportunity to fill environmental application forms or translate comments received during public participation processes, I felt I was on top of the world.

Still, being an administrative assistant wasn’t exactly my dream job. I understood the importance of my position, but still I felt like I was at the bottom of the food chain. I wasn’t passionate. But, to be honest, my thoughts played tricks on me before I started at this company, and I carried this uncertainty within myself with me.

I can see there’s so much to learn, it’s all so close and yet so far

Being an administrator and a front desk person is more important than most people realise. It took me a couple of months and a one-day front desk workshop to figure that out. Your boss may be the face of the company, but you are the voice. I wasn’t keen on the workshop at first. I mean come on, I’ve been doing this for some time now! But I actually learned a lot and tried to implement it in my daily work life ever since. I also gained more respect for front desk personnel.

And as I started to assist the environmental team with Powerpoint presentations, creating newspaper adverts and site notice boards, I increasingly felt the urge to join them as a junior environmentalist. Eventually, I gained momentum.

I see myself as people see me

Of course, the more I did at work, the more environmental responsibilities I gained, the less time I had to do everything, the more criticism I received over the tiniest things. I was playing a tug of war between my administrative and environmental assisting duties. There was a time when I was on a roll, but then, the roll went downhill.

Some people believe there’s no such thing as a quarter-life crisis, but I surely went through mine. Taking this job meant leaving my dance and art classes in my hometown, which formed a big part of my life. On top of that, I moved to my boyfriend’s place in order to be closer to work.

At one stage I had such an identity crises that when I took the Enneagram personality test for the first time, I had four split personalities. I didn’t know where my life was going. I didn’t have enough muse to write either. If it wasn’t for my boyfriend during this difficult time, I would still be in my dark hole.

I just know there’s something bigger out there

After a year of outer-criticism and self-criticism, I had my annual performance appraisal where I was told I’m doing a great job, but still making too many mistakes to be part of the environmental team, that my attention to detail was not up to speed. This was coming from the person who would phone me to ask the name of the person who he was supposed to meet with. I finally realised the reason for my depression. If you hear enough criticism every day, you start to believe them yourself. 

Having stress at work is one thing, but dreading getting up in the morning because you’re afraid of the scolding emails waiting in your inbox is something else. Plus, if you’re in the hospital and the office is more worried about you being contagious rather than whether you're okay, then one red flag is not warning enough.

I knew I was worth more than they made me out to be. It wasn’t worth the wait for a promotion that may have never come. So once again, I updated (glorified) my CV and sent it as far and wide as I could.

Ooo, these emotions I never knew

Of some other world far beyond this place

Beyond the trees, above the clouds

I see before me a new horizon

One day I received a reply on one of my applications for a bilingual proofreading position. I went for an interview, which turned out to be a proofreading test. My inner critic was sure that I wouldn't get a call-back. Sure enough, two weeks later they asked me to come in for another interview. This time, it only lasted 20 minutes. This short meeting made me nervous. I really wanted this job; not just to get away from a bad one, but because I could envision myself working there.

On 12 December 2016, I started my training as a bilingual proofreader at one of the coolest companies in Cape Town. After such a bad experience in my work-life, I can honestly say that I am happier than I ever was. I no longer have Sunday blues or anxiety. I may not be in the environmental sector, but I am doing something that I’m good at and enjoy, for a much better pay and benefits.

I went through a rough pencil sharpening process, but at least I can say that I feel more sharp than ever.

So much for not having enough attention to detail…

I wanna know, can you show me

I wanna know about these strangers like me

Tell me more, please show me

Something’s familiar about these strangers like me

2017 will be my year of growth. I am looking forward to reading more books, being more healthy emotionally and physically, and moving into a new place with the love of my life.

I’m currently the luckiest girl on earth.

Lyrics used for inspiration: Strangers Like Me - Phil Collins (from Tarzan). Because animation still makes me happy.

The Big Five

Today the number 5 plays a big role in my life. Normally, the number is a symbol of harmony and balance. It also symbolizes people's limitations of controlling the universe. For the Mayans, it means perfection. Without knowing it, or even trying, these meanings are all applicable in my life right now.

Since my last post 5 months ago, 5 big things have happened in my life.

1. Performance Appraisal

I've been at my current company for more than a year, so in April I had my performance appraisal. I finally got to hear what's waiting for me and what I can do to improve. Everyone is happy with me and I've grown above my basic job description. That's not something you see with many young people, I've been told. My title changed to Studio Assistant (because my work does not just stay at the front desk, duh) and I've been given a gold star. But nothing more. I felt great knowing that whatever I've been doing was right (to my knowledge), but I was also really looking forward to more responsibilities and opportunities to learn about the company. You can only learn so much on your own. And with my two mentors gone, that wasn't going to happen soon.

Which is why I decided to do the following point.

2. Copywriting Course

Since working in my current position, one of our designers got me interested in the art of copywriting. I always wondered what it entailed and started looking for courses. So I found the six week short course in Copywriting for Online Marketing. Not totally applicable to what we're doing at the office, but I want to become a better writer and blogger anyway, so I though, why not? It was not easy, and at times I thought "Am I really cut out for something like this? I haven't been creative in such a long time!" But after six weeks, our course coach called me, asking how I found the experience. I enjoyed it and learned quite a lot, I said. "You are best in class". She was not kidding. I felt almost ready to take over the world.

Speaking of writing...

3. Indigo Memoirs

Earlier in the year, while my boyfriend and I were competing for the highest amount of followers on Twitter (I'm still winning), someone from the London based online magazine called Indigo Memoirs (now called MI Magazine) reached out to me via this social platform. They wanted to know whether I was interested in becoming a contributor. I thought it to be a bit odd, because I am not from or have ever been to the UK. But, they were willing to give me a chance. I needed to start my online writing presence somewhere, something that's not my own blog. I have three posts on their website already. It's not perfect, but it's experience.

4. Family Holiday

The end of June meant the start of our family vacation. After so many disappointments with failed job applications and interviews, I needed a break away from everything. For the first time in a long while, I forced myself to read again. It feels good to know next time someone asks me what's the last book I read, I won't have to mention one that will give away the last time I did read. It was Harry Potter, okay. Even though I enjoyed the holiday, I still struggled with my identity crisis. It was only when we drove back home that I looked into the sunrise and I said, "You know, I'm done fighting against myself and thinking that I'm not good enough. I'll keep searching for jobs, but it's not going to swallow me whole. The right job will come."

And sure enough, two weeks after I returned to the office:

5. I got a New Job

It's an entry level job as an Admin Assistant, but it is at an environmental company, and I'll also be doing a little marketing on its social platforms. So I'll be using my work, academic and short course backgrounds for this new position. And there is so much room for growth and learning, exactly what I was looking for! I felt so much worth and excitement when I heard the news, something I haven't felt for a long time.

It all happened so fast. I sent an application, got called half an hour later to schedule an interview, went for the interview the next week, got offered the position one day later. I was so surprised. This kind of thing only happens to other people.

I only have 5 working days left at the office and it still feels surreal. And just when I found 5 different ways of getting to work in case of heavy traffic. Needless to say, I am looking forward to this new chapter. And I'll use a brand new pencil to write it.

Office Moving Headaches

I always knew that moving is not for the faint-hearted, especially for nostalgic people like me, but I only realised the full extent of this change when our office moved three weeks ago. What a mission it was. You can never be completely prepared, no matter how far ahead you plan it.

I spent my last day at our old office sorting out dust collectibles (those things that are always there, but actually have no value or contribution whatsoever - things that only collect dust) and running around making payments. It's funny how some people wait until you are unplugged (from computers, telephones, and internet) and only then ask you to make a deposit and send proof of payment before the weekend, otherwise you won't have electricity on Monday. 

When the moving truck finished loading the last pieces of furniture, I stayed behind for the telephone company to come and disconnect the PABX box. Only one couch, the main phone and five years' collected dust were left. I walked around, set the alarm and closed up one last time. When it's the place where you spent most of your time for almost a year, after home of course, you can't help but feel a little bit attached.

While moving does have its positives, you can never make everyone happy.

What I like about our new office:

• Single floor - No more running up and down the stairs.
• Open-area space - An area which I grew accustomed to at the old office.
• Safety - From a business complex with individual alarm systems to a building with secured entrances and all-round security. Now I don't have to worry about just anyone walking into the office and murdering me.
• Toilet paper - The bathrooms falls under the building manager's responsibility. I can scratch that one off the shopping list.
• Our own parking space - No more fighting over sharing 4 parking spaces between 6 to 7 people. Plus, there's enough visitor's parking for everyone!
• Lifts - For days when you're wearing high heels or, you know, don't feel like taking the stairs.
• My own space - The reception area is closed off from the rest of the office.
• Trees - I see trees are green...
• My own air conditioner - No more suffering in the heat.
• No roof noises - At our old office, when the wind huffed a little too much, our roof puffed a lot.
• No more daily ant invasions - I'm pretty sure they were there to haunt me for what happened to their comrades in our university projects...

Now, here is what I don't like about our new office:

• Our kitchen - I miss the kitchen next to the reception area. Now I have to do the walk of shame when I pass everyone, including my manager, when I go for my daily 3 to 5 cups of coffee.
• Groceries - I could easily park outside the front door and carry the bags in. Now I have to park in the basement and take multiple trips two floors up and back to my car. Luckily I won't have to carry any big packs of toilet paper.
• Parking space - The engineers (probably men) thought it would be funny to build a ramp and basement with minimum space and lots of twists and turns. I already scratched my car thanks to them. No, it's not because I'm a woman behind the wheel, okay. Besides, only man's logic can explain why there would be perpendicular parking where one car has to park the other one in.
• Lifts - Lift traffic is a real thing. So you have to take the stairs in any case. Unless you want to wait 2 or 3 turns until you find one where you can squeeze in.
• My own space - Previously I felt like part of the conversation, being in the middle of the office, literally. Now it feels like I can't really bond with my co-workers. You can sit at the front desk for hours with no activity, but as soon as you get up...
• Trees - They really are a breath of fresh air. Too bad I don't see them from where I'm sitting. My view consists of the two lifts and being able to look into the boring neighbouring office. Lovely.
• Going out/market research - Looking for something at the mall in my home town was never an issue, because I knew the place from top to bottom. Here I have no clue where I am or where I'm going. My colleague and I went to the mall close to our office to get some stuff and we walked around in circles. Three times.
• Fast Food Fridays - It was so easy to walk around the corner every Friday for the tastiest, juiciest, and cheapest fast food to celebrate the weekend. You can't go anywhere now without your car.
• Identity crisis - I still have my weekly identity crisis about where I am in life. 40 kilometers didn't take it away. Obviously the setting wasn't the issue...
• Traffic - I don't care whether your house is 10 or 60 minutes away from work, traffic is never good. For some people it's just extended. For me it extended to an hour. That's 2 hours per day, 8 per week, or 32 per month. No wonder people say you age more in traffic.
• Petrol - I went from filling up my tank once a month to once every week. Good bye savings.

Unfortunately, these days you have to find a job wherever you can. And if that job decides to move, you have to move along too, or be unemployed. The funny thing is I would be left with less of my salary if I had to move closer to the office. So for now I will put my sunglasses on, turn on the GPS, set up my MP3-player and see where this road will take me.

Side note: traffic is so bad, it turned me one year older in three weeks. Happy birthday to me.