The Big Five

Today the number 5 plays a big role in my life. Normally, the number is a symbol of harmony and balance. It also symbolizes people's limitations of controlling the universe. For the Mayans, it means perfection. Without knowing it, or even trying, these meanings are all applicable in my life right now.

Since my last post 5 months ago, 5 big things have happened in my life.

1. Performance Appraisal

I've been at my current company for more than a year, so in April I had my performance appraisal. I finally got to hear what's waiting for me and what I can do to improve. Everyone is happy with me and I've grown above my basic job description. That's not something you see with many young people, I've been told. My title changed to Studio Assistant (because my work does not just stay at the front desk, duh) and I've been given a gold star. But nothing more. I felt great knowing that whatever I've been doing was right (to my knowledge), but I was also really looking forward to more responsibilities and opportunities to learn about the company. You can only learn so much on your own. And with my two mentors gone, that wasn't going to happen soon.

Which is why I decided to do the following point.

2. Copywriting Course

Since working in my current position, one of our designers got me interested in the art of copywriting. I always wondered what it entailed and started looking for courses. So I found the six week short course in Copywriting for Online Marketing. Not totally applicable to what we're doing at the office, but I want to become a better writer and blogger anyway, so I though, why not? It was not easy, and at times I thought "Am I really cut out for something like this? I haven't been creative in such a long time!" But after six weeks, our course coach called me, asking how I found the experience. I enjoyed it and learned quite a lot, I said. "You are best in class". She was not kidding. I felt almost ready to take over the world.

Speaking of writing...

3. Indigo Memoirs

Earlier in the year, while my boyfriend and I were competing for the highest amount of followers on Twitter (I'm still winning), someone from the London based online magazine called Indigo Memoirs (now called MI Magazine) reached out to me via this social platform. They wanted to know whether I was interested in becoming a contributor. I thought it to be a bit odd, because I am not from or have ever been to the UK. But, they were willing to give me a chance. I needed to start my online writing presence somewhere, something that's not my own blog. I have three posts on their website already. It's not perfect, but it's experience.

4. Family Holiday

The end of June meant the start of our family vacation. After so many disappointments with failed job applications and interviews, I needed a break away from everything. For the first time in a long while, I forced myself to read again. It feels good to know next time someone asks me what's the last book I read, I won't have to mention one that will give away the last time I did read. It was Harry Potter, okay. Even though I enjoyed the holiday, I still struggled with my identity crisis. It was only when we drove back home that I looked into the sunrise and I said, "You know, I'm done fighting against myself and thinking that I'm not good enough. I'll keep searching for jobs, but it's not going to swallow me whole. The right job will come."

And sure enough, two weeks after I returned to the office:

5. I got a New Job

It's an entry level job as an Admin Assistant, but it is at an environmental company, and I'll also be doing a little marketing on its social platforms. So I'll be using my work, academic and short course backgrounds for this new position. And there is so much room for growth and learning, exactly what I was looking for! I felt so much worth and excitement when I heard the news, something I haven't felt for a long time.

It all happened so fast. I sent an application, got called half an hour later to schedule an interview, went for the interview the next week, got offered the position one day later. I was so surprised. This kind of thing only happens to other people.

I only have 5 working days left at the office and it still feels surreal. And just when I found 5 different ways of getting to work in case of heavy traffic. Needless to say, I am looking forward to this new chapter. And I'll use a brand new pencil to write it.

Office Moving Headaches

I always knew that moving is not for the faint-hearted, especially for nostalgic people like me, but I only realised the full extent of this change when our office moved three weeks ago. What a mission it was. You can never be completely prepared, no matter how far ahead you plan it.

I spent my last day at our old office sorting out dust collectibles (those things that are always there, but actually have no value or contribution whatsoever - things that only collect dust) and running around making payments. It's funny how some people wait until you are unplugged (from computers, telephones, and internet) and only then ask you to make a deposit and send proof of payment before the weekend, otherwise you won't have electricity on Monday. 

When the moving truck finished loading the last pieces of furniture, I stayed behind for the telephone company to come and disconnect the PABX box. Only one couch, the main phone and five years' collected dust were left. I walked around, set the alarm and closed up one last time. When it's the place where you spent most of your time for almost a year, after home of course, you can't help but feel a little bit attached.

While moving does have its positives, you can never make everyone happy.

What I like about our new office:

• Single floor - No more running up and down the stairs.
• Open-area space - An area which I grew accustomed to at the old office.
• Safety - From a business complex with individual alarm systems to a building with secured entrances and all-round security. Now I don't have to worry about just anyone walking into the office and murdering me.
• Toilet paper - The bathrooms falls under the building manager's responsibility. I can scratch that one off the shopping list.
• Our own parking space - No more fighting over sharing 4 parking spaces between 6 to 7 people. Plus, there's enough visitor's parking for everyone!
• Lifts - For days when you're wearing high heels or, you know, don't feel like taking the stairs.
• My own space - The reception area is closed off from the rest of the office.
• Trees - I see trees are green...
• My own air conditioner - No more suffering in the heat.
• No roof noises - At our old office, when the wind huffed a little too much, our roof puffed a lot.
• No more daily ant invasions - I'm pretty sure they were there to haunt me for what happened to their comrades in our university projects...

Now, here is what I don't like about our new office:

• Our kitchen - I miss the kitchen next to the reception area. Now I have to do the walk of shame when I pass everyone, including my manager, when I go for my daily 3 to 5 cups of coffee.
• Groceries - I could easily park outside the front door and carry the bags in. Now I have to park in the basement and take multiple trips two floors up and back to my car. Luckily I won't have to carry any big packs of toilet paper.
• Parking space - The engineers (probably men) thought it would be funny to build a ramp and basement with minimum space and lots of twists and turns. I already scratched my car thanks to them. No, it's not because I'm a woman behind the wheel, okay. Besides, only man's logic can explain why there would be perpendicular parking where one car has to park the other one in.
• Lifts - Lift traffic is a real thing. So you have to take the stairs in any case. Unless you want to wait 2 or 3 turns until you find one where you can squeeze in.
• My own space - Previously I felt like part of the conversation, being in the middle of the office, literally. Now it feels like I can't really bond with my co-workers. You can sit at the front desk for hours with no activity, but as soon as you get up...
• Trees - They really are a breath of fresh air. Too bad I don't see them from where I'm sitting. My view consists of the two lifts and being able to look into the boring neighbouring office. Lovely.
• Going out/market research - Looking for something at the mall in my home town was never an issue, because I knew the place from top to bottom. Here I have no clue where I am or where I'm going. My colleague and I went to the mall close to our office to get some stuff and we walked around in circles. Three times.
• Fast Food Fridays - It was so easy to walk around the corner every Friday for the tastiest, juiciest, and cheapest fast food to celebrate the weekend. You can't go anywhere now without your car.
• Identity crisis - I still have my weekly identity crisis about where I am in life. 40 kilometers didn't take it away. Obviously the setting wasn't the issue...
• Traffic - I don't care whether your house is 10 or 60 minutes away from work, traffic is never good. For some people it's just extended. For me it extended to an hour. That's 2 hours per day, 8 per week, or 32 per month. No wonder people say you age more in traffic.
• Petrol - I went from filling up my tank once a month to once every week. Good bye savings.

Unfortunately, these days you have to find a job wherever you can. And if that job decides to move, you have to move along too, or be unemployed. The funny thing is I would be left with less of my salary if I had to move closer to the office. So for now I will put my sunglasses on, turn on the GPS, set up my MP3-player and see where this road will take me.

Side note: traffic is so bad, it turned me one year older in three weeks. Happy birthday to me.

One Year Anniversary

The 10th of March 2014 was a Monday morning like every other one for most working people. You get up with a lot of effort, because you didn't sleep so well last night. You still suffer from the hangover called "the Sunday blues" and despise the fact that you have to face the traffic, yet again, with your fellow zombie-like travelers. You don't know them, but you share the same agony.

For me, that particular Monday morning was different. I was also going to work, but it was my first day at my first job. It was only ten minutes' drive from home, but I left a little earlier. I was excited, but also scared. Answering my first phone call at the reception desk was pretty frightening. But even though I was just a temp at the time, I still took the job seriously. I had no idea what I was letting myself in for, but I knew that I wanted to make a success out of this. Nothing newly learned ever goes to waste.

Today marks my one year anniversary as a working woman and I'm still where I started. When I look back at the past 12 months. I see how much I've learned about the advertising and marketing sector, how I've developed and improved many of my skills, and how I've grown above my job description. I learned things only experience and the marketing environment could teach me. The phone is not so scary anymore, but the relationship is still complicated. Oh yes, I also graduated during this time.

However, in the last six months, my excitement toned down, so far that I actually feel down. It all started when two co-workers left. Not only did they teach me most of what I know today, but they also became my friends. Their leaving shook me harder than I thought. Sure, you can replace someone with the same capabilities, but they're not them. It is never the same.

Just as I got used to this change, our office moved. Where it previously took me ten minutes to get to work, it now takes me a whole hour. It's my second week in the traffic brigade on a route that takes twice as long to complete thanks to my fellow zombie-like travelers. Unfortunately, you have to go where your work goes.

The reason for me being down, however, is mainly the feeling of being unfulfilled. Sure I am gaining experience, and I will always be grateful for that, but that doesn't stop my weekly identity crises, especially when you know there will never be an opportunity for you to climb the ladder. There are days when you feel good, there are days when you feel awesome (because you did something no-one else could figure out) and then there are days where you feel like you're just the receptionist and you're only good enough to make sure there's coffee in the office. Surely I'm not the only one who ever went through these emotions?

Sometimes I really have to remind myself that I may not be the most important person in the office, but to the office I am important. Today I'm not celebrating my one year working anniversary. Rather, I'm celebrating the fact that I do have a job, even if it's not my ideal job, that I've made it so far, and that I can look forward to more and better opportunities. Until then, I will look at this message I posted on my wall today, every day:

Don't have too much of a plan, don't be afraid of new experiences and use every job as an opportunity to learn.